Revenge.

Father always said revenge would lead us back into war with Orlais. But now my family is dead, my home desecrated by traitors, and revenge is all I have left.

It started late last night. Dog started barking at the door, before I was completely out of bed one of our men-at-arms burst through the door yelling about an attack. As I was grabbing my twin Daggers he was shot in the back with an arrow. Dog attacked the archer, supplying me with time to equip myself with some Leather armor. I made short work two clumsy swordsmen while Dog took out another archer.

Mother than came out of her room dressed in her battle clothes. It shocked me for a moment until I remember that mother helped fight during the battles with Orlais, though she is not keen to speak of it often. She pointed out that the swordsmen I slew had Howes house crest on their shields, that traitorous bastard! We checked the rooms on our floor, many of the servants were dead but worst of all, they cut the throats of my brothers wife and nephew, the cowards.

I tried using a bow I got from Mother but my hands were not steady enough. Looking back I think I preferred slitting their throats.

Mother demanded we stop at the Cousland Treasury, to gather more equipment and the family sword. I also stumbled upon a chest with some relics father gathered from his battles against Orlais, among them a axe and mace crafted from Dragonbone! I have not yet had time to look more at these items but those two stuck out, for obvious reasons. I took the family sword in my right hand, it makes m balance off but I have trained with mis-matched swords enough to compensate.

Mother and I gathered up a band of servants and guards, but it seemed most of our forces were killed unawares, with how many of the knights were laying still with half their armor on..

My turn with watch is over now, Duncan, the Warden has come to relieve me..

My name is Durzen Cousland. Mother dearest is forcing me to start a journal. She seems to think occupying my time scribbling away thoughts will prevent me from creating new ways to antagonize Nan and guards.

So let us see, thoughts? Walked into the main hall to see Father talking with Rendon Howe, the Arl of Amaranthine. They were having a good laugh over a quip the Arl made about fathers grey hair. Odd, considering he tends to scowl at mine. Howe seems like a nice enough fellow most of the time, until he inevitably brings up an arranged marriage between his daughter and myself. Delilah is pleasant to be around and not terrible to look upon, if a bit pale and plain, though she seems to have inherited her fathers overly large nose..

 However since my brother Fergus is the one who will be tied down here at Highever once father passes, I should think it would be wise to take opportunity to enjoy my freedom as second son, as opposed to the oppressiveness of marriage. For example, Father once again reminded me he wouldnt allow me to join him in Ostagar to fight Darkspawn because Mother said so.

 Father than introduced me a Grey Warden! His name was Duncan, he carried two weapons, much like I practice with. I should thoroughly enjoy learning how a Grey Warden fights with two weapons, I hope I get the chance to pick his brain before he leaves. I mentioned that maybe I could join the wardens as a way to get into the battle down South but father put his boot on that almost before the words were out of my mouth.

Father than declared me Duncans royal butler, deciding I could attend his every need and request, before sending me off to tell Fergus he would be leading the men in fathers stead, as Howes men are running behind..

On my way to Fergus' room I ran into Ser Gilmore, he told me Mother wanted to go deal with Dog, my Mabari War hound. Not the most original name but I thought it was quite clever when I was young. Nan was displeased at his being in the larder and was threatening to leave. I dont think she appreciated my teasing her but when she mentioned heidi slobbering all over the bacon Gilmore and I sprang into action! Giant rats were infesting the larder, though I imagine some of the torn sacks were from Dog. I hope no one else caught that we had to exterminate rats, Mother and Father would be embarrassed if our guests knew.

Walked in to Fergus' room to he and his wife saying sappy things to each other. We both knew Fergus would grow up and get married young for political reasons but it almost seems as though he is enjoying it! My nephew, Oren is fun. Old enough to use his brains, young enough to be manipulated into helping with my schemes.

Off to bed, lest Mother think I'm enjoying being tortured with this journal..